THE UNTOLD STOREH OF JEFF DA KILLA

ONCE UPON A TYME IN AN AWESOME STATE CALLED KILLERVANIA LIVED A TEENAGE BOI NAMED JEFF DA KILLA UNTEAL ONE DAI, HE WUZ CAPTURED BY THIS BULLEH CALLED RANDY WHO WUZ DA MASTER OF BIG SCAREH BULLEHS z0mg!111

GRR IM ANGREH" SAID TEH SCARY RANDEH, HE WUZ LIEK "LETS KEAL JEFF" SO HE BLEACHED HIM! WUT MAIKZ IT SADAR IS DAT IT WUZ DURN HEAS BURTHDAI!!! SO HIS MOMMEH WAS LIEK "NUUU!!11 NOW WEAO IZ GAWNA CLEAN MAH TOILETZ!?!?!" AND DADDEH WAS LIEK "I DUN NO BABEH" SO NEXT DAI JEFF AND RANDY WUZ IN TEH HOSPITAL FOR STUPID PEOPLEZ AND DEN HE WUZ LIEK "GEWDBAI JEFF, I WUV YOU" HE BLAWSHED AND DEN HE DAIED!!!111 SO JEFF WUZ LIKE "AWWWWW MAN" AND HEAS PARNTZ AND BROZ WERE LIEK "JEFF YOU LOOK SO WEIRD" DEN HE WUZ LIKE "NAH!!! I LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL BRAH!" DEN LATER HE STAWKED HIS PARNTZ AND THEY'RE LIEK "JEFF YOU SO UGLY, WE DAI NAO" SO THEY SHAWT THEMSELVEZ AND JEFF IS LIEK "-_-" SO HE LEWKED AT HIS BRO AND KEALED HIM LIEK A BAWSS!!! DEN HIS BRO'S GHOST FLOATED UP TO THE ROOF AND SAID "NOOO!" SO JEFF IS LIEK "GO TO SLEEP YOU DUMMY DUMHEAD!!!"

ADULTHEWD/TEH CHAPTUR WITH DA END
SO  WHEN HE WUZ LIKE AN ADULT, HE HAD A GF NAMED JANE WHEACH SHE LIEKS JEFF BUT HE KEALED HER ANYWAYZ, SO HE DATED HIS DOG, SMILE DOG!!! SO DEN HE WUZ LIKE "SORREH DAWG BUT I AIN'T NO DAWG DAWG!" SO HEAZ LAST DATE WUZ BEN z0mg!!11!!! DEN HE WUZ LIKE "HAVE A BANANA" AND JEFF REALIZED BEN WUZ A SKEANY APE WEARING A PIMP HAT. SO HE BLAWSHED AND SAID "LOL LETZ GET HITCHED" SO AFTER THEY MARRY, THEY LEAVED IN A MANSHUN AT "CREEPYPASTA HOMES" AND THEY HAD TEW SUNS NAMED "MEREANA" AND "LEBRON JAMES" AND THE PURPOSE OF THIS STORY IS TO GIVE BANANAS TO WIN HEARTS BRO U EVIN LISTENIN?